BLM Movement: Supporting your fellow Black and Ethnic Minority Groups in the Community

Over the course of the Coronavirus, we have seen another pandemic appear. A racism pandemic. Spiralled up once again from the recent killing of George Floyd in the US, many have taken to the streets globally and to social networks to support the movement as well as justice for George Floyd. Supporters come from many size and shapes, from different countries and from different races.

How long do we have to protest, to fight our right to be equal, to not be discriminated against by the colour of our skin, to be heard?I hear this time and time again. I say this time and time again. I experience it time and time again.

My ancestors suffered, my grandparents suffered, my parents suffered, I have suffered…

Our suffering comes in the form of discrimination, social injustice and years upon years of oppression which leads back to the slave trade.

So what is this suffering exactly you may ask? Ok, well without going too much into detail about it, but it clearly is discrimination in all areas of sectors from education to employment. All we ask is to be treated as an equal, not by the colour of our skin, but be judged by our talents, skills, qualifications, personalities. Because that is what every human possesses regardless of gender, race, sexuality, identity, background etc.

So how do we ask those in the fet community to help? What does actual support mean? And I don’t just mean, changing your profile photo black, or joining a protest with a sign saying ‘Black Lives Matter’, it goes way beyond that. Because in a few weeks or months, it will be forgotten all over again unless you use action to make a difference and make change.

So what can I do to help my fellow ethnic minority members?

Here are some tips on how you can ACTIVELY support your fellow kinksters or vanilla acquaintances:

  • EDUCATION: Speak to Black and minority groups, get to understand and know their struggles. Let them educate you. Also read books from black and minority authors, watch black movies on Netflix. Remind yourself about the history.
  • FUNDRAISE: Start a fundraising campaign that would help people in your community to help them in need. Alternatively donate to small businesses / start-ups.
  • INVEST: Buy/Purchase goods and services from minority establishments and businesses – This is hugely important.
  • RECOGNISE: that there are people of colour amongst your community and be sensitive regarding language we use as well as perceptions. (See blog ‘Reddened Bottom’ – Challenges of being a Black Spankee).
  • CELEBRATE: Employ, promote, and speak about Black and minority achievement and success all over the community and be proud.

By doing anyone of these tips above, you are actively playing a part in supporting this movement.

My ancestors suffered, my grandparents suffered, my parents suffered, I have suffered. The question now is, will my children suffer? Don’t let them. Help them. Support them.

Your Spanking diagnosis: Are you a ‘hard-wired’ Spanko?

Ok this is going to be fun and exciting to talk about… Take the test and you’ll be ‘diagnosed’.

So you think you are a hard-wired spanko do ya? Ok. Ok, we need to check these things out. Let us play a game and find out how true of a hard-wired spanko you really are…

So, from my experience a hard-wired Spanko has certain traits. All you must do is answer Yes or No to the following questions. Then count out the amount of ‘Yes’s’ you have put next to each one, then refer to my scoring below. As part of terms and conditions, please note this is not a well-known tested study, nor is this an established test. I am not a spanko psychologist, psychotherapist, or a neuro-kink doctor, so scores may only indicate and INFORMALLY diagnose you with your ‘spanking condition’.

You have 5mins to complete this test. Answer all questions honestly and please do reframe from going back to the answers and changing your mind after you have scored yourself. Goodluck!

  1. I think about spanking almost all the time, especially when I am not busy.
  2. I looked up ‘spanking’ in the dictionary, or Googled the meaning of it.
  3. I saw spanking in magazines, movies, or cartoons for the first time and was fascinated.
  4. I either dreamed or witness someone get spanked, or was involved in some spanking/Corporal punishment when I was younger.
  5. I regularly crave to either spank or be spanked.
  6. Spanking is my sex/sexuality.
  7. Spanking over sex.
  8. I can have a non-sexual spanking session without wanting sex.
  9. I can look at bums all day every day and just admire them.
  10. I want/have a regular spanking play partner.
  11. My only kink is spanking. This means I am not interested in other areas of BDSM.
  12. I prefer spanking over other fetishes/BDSM/Kink including ropeplay and bondage.
  13. I have looked at a public figure and have imagined spanking/being spanked by them.
  14. ‘I have been into spanking as far back as I remember’ is your common response.
  15. I do not just like to spank a bottom/have my bottom spanked, I am very particular on how it is done.

Ok, time is up. Time to score yourself. Count out all the Yes’s you have and see where you fall in below:

Scores (and what you mean):

0 – 01 – Vanilla Ice Cream: Why have vanilla, when you can have peach sorbet?

02-04 – Toe dipper: Testing the waters, are we?

05-11 – Curious Kinkster: a fellow fetish friend

12-13 – Spanko: You are a Spanko, no doubt about that.

14-15 – Hard-wired Spanko: You were born a true Spanko!

Share your results!

Challenges of being a Black Spankee – The ‘reddened’ bottom

For those of you who have met me, for those of you who don’t know me, my pictures may suggest what I like and look like, but do not represent my unheard voice.

In light of recent events of the BLM Movement, but also by having an open in depth conversation with my sister and dear best friend Tearoha about some of the challenges and insecurities us women with certain features face today. I often do not voice my opinions unless I feel it deeply concerns me, but also because I am an introverted individual and somewhat of a private person. This is my time to voice and express myself.

  • Let us start this off with a questionable thought: Why do we need to use the term ‘red-bottom’?

I am a spankee. I am a woman. I am BLACK.

Being a black spankee within a predominantly white spanko/fet community has its challenges and you may not be aware. But I am aware. Infact, I am very aware, conscious, highly vigilant, and unapologetically observant.

We are not going to get into the specifics of why there are not many black spankees in the community, or ‘where are they are all hiding’. No, we are not. I am here to inform of the many struggles I (and perhaps others) may face being a black spankee in the community.

Throughout my spanking journey and over the last year especially, it has occurred to me that there is this ‘idealistic’ description and image of that is seen as a ‘traditional spankee’. By this I mean referring to the good old-fashioned days where domestic discipline and school corporal punishment were the norm. We know of ancient books, old comics and some aged videos that are predominately with spankees who are white, often who are women, over a man’s knee getting some form of correction for misdemeanours beyond that requires just a simple telling off.

Within these images you would always see a small, perhaps thinly shaped young white woman, long hair, small waist, who has a cute red bottom. This is where my problems begin.

  • Why do we need to use the term ‘red-bottom’? This automatically discriminates against spankees who cannot produce a red bottom after being soundly spanked

In a world and country where we are more diverse than ever, many people still have their idealistic vision of what the ‘perfect’ spankee looks like. That is white, thin, small, young and in some cases the gender of a woman.

I am conscious that I do not fit this image and mostly that because I am a black young woman. I get messages occasionally by men who would like to ‘redden’ my bottom or make my bottom go ‘bright pink’. I get these A LOT. A typical bottom that goes red after a spanking is those mostly of a white race. I understand that one of the thrills and likes of a spanker is seeing the ‘glow of a well spanked bottom’. But what does this glow mean? Red? Pink? Purple?

Automatically this singles me out. My bottom does not glow, redden nor does it go pink after a spanking. You will be lucky to see a darkish maroon-purplish colour, but mostly when I’m bruised. Most of the time my skin colour goes darker usually with a hand spanking. When I am strapped, tawsed, belted or caned quite hard, my bottom shows white marks. I have been asked several times about this by some uneducated unaware people or simply by people who have not had the fortunate experience of connecting with a black spankee or indeed, being able to spank them.

My non-red bottom does not always appeal to some spankers out there. It disturbingly seems like I am ‘not a fit’ to some events out there, some groups out there and some individuals out there. The sad reality is that they have not yet to connect with me personally to find out who I truly am, rather they look at my images and see that my bottom doesn’t give them the same experiences of a white girl. When truly the ideal spanking session is based on the connections you make, the personalities you explore and the non-discrimination on silly generalisations that all spankees can have a reddened bottom. No, not all. And certainly not mine.

  • Again, I ask: Why do we need to use the term ‘red-bottom’? This automatically discriminates against spankees who can not produce a red bottom after being soundly spanked. But why not use the term ‘hot bottom’ or ‘sore-bottom’? That sounds very inclusive to me, don’t you think?

Usually at events, small gatherings where spanking is involved, I am ‘different’.  People may not approach me at an event or as an individual because by bottom does not redden like what they ‘know’ or are ‘used to’. I sometimes feel some people are intrigued by my bottom because they have never seen a black bottom being spanked before. But it is the same as spanking any other bottom, with the only exception that my skin tone goes darker or turns white.

For those in the community who have met me, would describe me as fun, cheeky, naughty and playful. But those who have had conversations with me would know that I go beyond this perception and have more to me than what is shown through my images, or even my profile.

My gratitude:

Despite being a black spankee, I do feel I have made good friends in the community, who indeed understand that a spanking is a spanking no matter the colour of your skin and there are people who do see me as just and only a fellow spankee. I also am grateful for those who look out for me, as there sadly has been some racially inappropriate comments to my pictures. And I am appreciative and grateful for all the positive compliments I have received on my bottom.

This is not an attack, this is to simply open up and inform you that yes, I am a black woman, and yes although I may not fit what some people may see as the ‘perfect spankee’, I am still a person, a woman, a spankee and a member of your community. See me for what I am, for my personality, for my charm, for my cheekiness, for my intelligence and allow me to express my feelings.

Never look at me and see me as a person of colour, but instead embrace my difference. Don’t be scared, don’t be shy and don’t hide away, because difference IS exciting, difference IS educational, and difference CERTAINLY IS worth exploring.

Let’s not assume all bottoms can be made to go red, it is Taking The PIS away from reality.

Let’s not assume all bottoms can be made to go red, it does not represent diversity, inclusiveness and certainly is not a true picture of reality